Joker Page 4

  “Where’s she going?” Indiana asked. Floyd’s eyebrows went up and he leaned against the counter. I smirked.

  “She’s more than likely calling the good Reverend and givin’ him a piece of her mind,” I replied with a laugh. Floyd nodded, and Indiana shrugged.

  “Stepmom videos?” asked Floyd. Indy swallowed a spoonful of his cereal and nodded.

  “Yeah. It’s like one of those videos where the stepmom has sex with her stepson or sometimes the stepson and his girlfriend. The girlfriend pretends she doesn’t know how to have sex or somethin’and then BAM she’s on her knees gettin’ pig roasted,” he replied matter of fact. Floyd spit his mouthful of coffee out again and laughed like a hyena. My jaw dropped, and I had no clue what to say.

  “Buddy, you gotta warn me when you’re gonna say shit like that,” he choked out as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  “Ma- Mama caught you watching’ that shit too or was it just the Reverend?” I asked. He nodded, eyes wide.

  “Yep, this was after the Reverend told her. She grabbed me up by the arm and told me to go out back and pick a switch, a thin one. Then after she whupped me, she made me read the Bible while she called Daddy at his office,” he replied. Floyd shook his head as something like admiration shone in his eyes.

  “Is that why I had to watch you while you did research for your science project the other night?” Floyd asked him. Indiana nodded and walked over to the dishwasher; rinsing his bowl off in the sink and putting it in the top rack.

  “Yep. It was bad, her eyes were flashin’ like a pig demon when she told me to get the switch,” Indy replied as he shut the dishwasher with a click.

  “Oh, come on, I’m sure you’ve done worse,” I replied as I walked over to the coffee pot on the stove and poured myself another cup. Indiana thought about it for a moment and sighed.

  “Last month, she caught me askin’ Missy Redman if I could see what color her nipples were. She nearly yanked my ear off the side of my head. But she never made me read the Bible before . . . the whole Bible,” he replied. Floyd bit down on his fist and tried not to bark out a laugh.

  “Uh, yeah I don’t know what to say to that, Indy. Why don’t you go and get your juvenile delinquent ass dressed,” I replied as I spun my nephew in the direction of his bedroom. Indy shuffled down the hall.

  “He asked a girl to see her nipples? That kid has a set of balls on him,” remarked Floyd.

  “Mama’s going to end up sendin’ him to church camp if he keeps it up,” I remarked, making us both laugh.

  “Oh, you mean the same church camp where you lost your virginity?” he asked me. I nodded and finished up my coffee.

  “That would be the one,” I said somberly. Floyd stuck his cup in the sink.

  “At this rate, I give it two years before Mordechai and Jonathan are grandparents,” commented Floyd as Mama walked back into the kitchen. Mama huffed and removed her apron, hanging it on the hook next to the fridge.

  “That boy. Did he tell you what he asked Missy Redman?” she huffed. We both nodded somberly.

  “I’m fixin’ to send him to that church camp in the Catskills if he keeps it up,” she muttered. Floyd looked at me and wiggled his eyebrows; causing me to crack up with laughter.

  “Floyd Garcia! The dishwasher is right there for goodness sake! Come get your cup and rinse it out,” she fussed at him. Floyd walked to the sink and did as she told him.

  “I swear to the good Lord, it’s like herdin’ turtles with you bunch. And why are you both laughin’ about church camp? Jacoby, you loved church camp, begged to go back every summer,” she pointed out, hands on her hips. Floyd made a face behind her back and I swallowed down my laugh.

  “Mama, think about it this way. Indy is doing bad stuff, right?” I asked. She nodded.

  “Other parents are going to send their ‘wayward daughters’ there because they are doing equally bad things, right?” I asked. She nodded again and then her hazel eyes got round as it sunk in.

  “Are you sayin’ you had sex at church camp, Jacoby Garcia?” she asked. I nodded.

  “BINGO! Numerous times,” I replied. Mama frowned and sort of growled under her breath. Floyd chuckled.

  “You shut it, mister. At least he didn’t have sex with one of his teachers,” she hissed in response.

  “That was Bryce, Mama,” Floyd replied, deadpan. Mama whimpered.

  “Come on now, Mama. You conceived Bryce at a Charlie Daniels concert in the back of Daddy’s truck before ya’ll were married,” I pointed out. Mama glared at him.

  “Oh hush. It was a different time back then,” she pouted. Floyd and I exchanged a look.

  “Right. Because everyone on the planet was more open minded almost forty years ago. Sure, Mama,” I quipped, earning a smack on the head.

  “What in the world did I ever do to deserve a houseful of sass mouth boys?” she asked as she walked out of the kitchen.

  “And that is how you know you’ve won an argument,” I told Floyd who nodded in agreement.

  Later that afternoon, I sat on the back deck at my mother’s and stared at my cellphone. I’d exchanged numbers with Moe last night, before I left with my insane family and I needed to message her, but for some reason, I was clueless as what to type.

  Me: Hey hey there gorgeous. Dear god, no. I hit the delete button.

  Me: Hi Mobley. I just wanted to talk to you about our impending date. Ok, that was even worse. Images of me in a blue velvet smoking jacket sipping a highball and twiddling with my freshly greased mustache, flickered through my head. Deleted again. I jumped as my phone buzzed.

  Moe: Hey Jacoby. It’s Moe. Are you busy?

  Me: I was just about to text you, but you beat me to it. What’s up? Stop trying to sound so eager there, boy scout! I shook my head and ran a hand through my messy hair. My phone buzzed again.

  Moe: Not much. I just wanted to talk about date details while I had a free moment

  Me: Busy on your day off?

  I jumped as my phone rang.

  “Hello?” I asked, kind of irritated because I wanted to keep texting Moe.

  “It’s Moe. I’m sorry but it’s hard to text. I’m at my sister’s shelter and its crazy here!” she said with a laugh. I found myself smiling.

  “Everything okay?” I asked. Moe giggled.

  “Sorry, I’m fine really. I offered to help her out today because she had to go with Animal Control. It’s her day of the week to help them, but her regular employee called off. She didn’t have anyone else, so here I am. And someone just came in fifteen minutes ago with twelve abandoned puppies and I’m literally covered in squirming little fur balls!” she said as I heard growling and yips in the background.

  “You need help?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t sound too eager. There was silence on the other end and a rush of breath.

  “For the love of God, yes,” she replied. I laughed.

  “Text the address to me and I’ll be there with my nephew. He needs the community service,” I replied. We quickly hung up and my phone vibrated with the address of the shelter. I made sure Short Round, my snoring bulldog, was behaving himself before I went to Indy’s room. Knocking on the door, I heard him grunt in response.

  “Get your shoes on. We’re going to help out a friend at the animal shelter,” I called out.

  “Don’t wanna,” he replied. I smiled as I leaned my head against the door.

  “Twelve puppies were just brought in,” I told him through the door. I heard a small thud and the door was flung open. His big brown eyes lit up and he oozed excited, nervous energy.

  “Let me get my sneakers!” he cried as he smiled wide. The boy was a sucker for dogs, especially puppies. Five minutes later he was climbing into the cab of my truck with the energy of twenty poodles. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I was really looking forward to seeing Moe again. Shaking my head, I started up my truck and we took off down the road.

  The woman I met at the auction, the on
e who bid on me, was wholly different from the one who greeted me when we walked into the shelter. She was wearing a faded, blue t-shirt, khaki cargo shorts and a black apron. Her dark hair was piled up on the top of her head and she was wearing glasses. Moe smiled, her cheeks turning light pink, when she saw me. Even though she looked like she just climbed out of bed, she was still sexy as hell.

  “Hey ya’ll. Thanks for coming down here. I’m swamped!” she sang out as Indy sized her up.

  “Miss Knight, ma’am,” muttered Indy. Moe grinned. She led us around the large front desk and Indy practically ran to the large pallet covered with baby blankets that contained squirming Great Dane puppies. I recognized the breed right off the bat, as my uncle used to breed them ages ago.

  “I take it your nephew is a dog person?” she joked as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her right ear. An ear I wanted to nibble on. Hold up, what the hell was wrong with me? I moved a bit away from her.

  “Oh, he definitely is! He spoils Short Round, my English bulldog. He’s been bugging my brother and his husband to get a dog for some time now,” I replied as I stood there with my hands in my pockets. Moe tilted her head to the side.

  “Short Round? Like in the Indiana Jones movies?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. I nodded.

  “We’re huge Indiana Jones fans. Hence my nephew’s moniker. Mama has a thing for Harrison Ford,” I explained. Moe grinned and we both looked at Indy, covered in puppies.

  “So does mine. She likes Sean Connery too,” she admitted with a chuckle. Our eyes strayed to Indy again and she laughed softly.

  “Totally breaking protocol here, but he can have one of those if he wants,” she pointed to the massive pile of squirming puppies. I sighed.

  “I don’t know. Let me think on it, seeing as how I’ll probably end up taking care of the horse that he brings home,” I told her with a laugh. She touched my forearm with her hand and laughed; the electricity crackling between us. What in the hell? I coughed and looked around the room as she scurried over to Indy, not noticing my reaction.

  Moe had us clean out kennels, fill food and water bowls and she even let Indy take a few pooches out for a much-needed walk. She was busy as she answered phones, waited on prospective pet parents and placed orders for supplies. Whenever she was near me, I found it hard to breathe. Her cheeks were perpetually pink, and she giggled a lot in my presence. I placed a leash on one of the many hooks near the kennel doors after walking a Pomeranian and walked out to the front desk. Indy was curled up with a puppy that resembled a cow with its coloring; a happy smile on his face.

  “Uncle Jo, Miss Knight says I can bring her home. Can I, please?” he pleaded with me. I laughed and looked to Moe, who was pouting and batting her eyelashes comically. The puppy sat up on her haunches and cocked her head to the side. I was outnumbered.

  “I can see you’re not going to be any help at all,” I told Moe. She grinned, nodding her head toward the kennels. I followed her quietly. She opened a heavy metal door onto what looked like a loading dock area. Sighing, she looked up at the night sky and smiled back at me.

  “I have a confession and please don’t think I’m some psycho weirdo stalker person, ok?” she asked with a hesitant look on her face.

  “I can’t make any promises. But go ahead with your confession,” I told her, and she punched me lightly in the arm.

  “I kind of had a crush on you,” she said as she bit her bottom lip. I leaned against a set of cement steps and looked at her.

  “Had? Did the crush fade after you met me in person? Is it because I didn’t put out when we got here? I can totally put out if that’s how you want to cheapen our budding relationship,” I teased her as I whipped my t-shirt off. She guffawed and held up her hands as her eyes widened.

  “Oh, my goodness! No! I mean, it didn’t fade at all. I still like you. Why is your shirt off?” she asked as she covered her face with her hands and groaned. I laughed and put my shirt back on. I moved closer to her; her scent of jasmine and geraniums hitting me full force.

  “I’m glad you like me. It makes going out with you that much easier,” I told her as I looked into her eyes and brushed my hand over her cheek. Hungrily, she licked her lips and a soft sigh escaped her mouth.

  “Can I kiss you?” she asked breathlessly. I nodded and cradled her head in my hand as I pulled her to me. Slowly, I slanted my mouth over hers; her lips connecting with mine in an electric rush. Moe moaned against my mouth as I reached down to cup her ass and pull her against me; grinding my hips against hers so she could feel just how hard she made me. Her fingers skated up the back of my neck and tugged on my hair as she deepened the kiss; her tongue tangling up deliciously in mine. All I could think about was pressing her body against the wall of the building behind me and wrapping her legs around my waist. Moe ground her pelvis into me and gripped my shoulders with her hands. Breaking the kiss, I pressed my forehead against hers and attempted to catch my breath. Moe raggedly breathed as she licked her lips. We both stepped back and stared at one another.

  “Wow,” she whispered as she touched her fingers to her lips. I nodded and noticed her nipples were hard through her t-shirt, which only made my breathing speed up a bit and my heart started to race. I could honestly say that I’d never had this strong of a reaction to anyone before.

  “Yeah, I agree,” I said, my voice rough with need. I ran a hand over my stomach and tried to calm my rock-hard dick. Moe bit her bottom lip again and looked at me hungrily.

  “I think I have a little more than a crush on you now,” she said, touching her hand to the back of her head and licking her lips.

  “If you don’t stop doing that stuff with your mouth, I’m gonna take you right here, right now,” I growled as I moved closer to her. Moe looked up at me and swallowed.

  “Are you now?” she challenged with one raised eyebrow. I nodded and jumped as the back door opened. Indy stuck his head out and when he saw the two of us out there, he grinned.

  “Ya’ll comin’ back? There’s folks here to talk to Miss Knight,” he yelled out to us. I nodded, and he ducked back inside. Moe gave me a confident smile and turned to walk back in; I snagged her by the wrist causing her to yelp in surprise.

  “I meant what I said, Moe. I want you,” I told her as I pressed my chest against her back. She shivered and sighed.

  “The feeling is mutual, Jacoby,” she replied huskily as she broke my hold and left me standing there. Like a lost puppy, I followed her into the shelter, her scent all around me.

  Chapter Three

  Indy and I got home in time for dinner. Mama raised an eyebrow when Indy walked in with his puppy that he’d named Moo, because she looked like a cow. Floyd went out to the barn and found a crate for her and we set her up in Indy’s room. Indy scarfed down his dinner and then eagerly snapped a leash on Moo to take her for a walk. Short Round glared from his spot under the kitchen table. Mama stood there with her hand on her hip and clucked her tongue as she shook her head, looking down at my dog.

  “Look at him, all fat and sassy under the table, bless his heart. He’s jealous of the new baby in the house,” cooed Mama as Short Round looked at her with his sunken eyes and underbite, chuffing in response. Floyd loaded up the dishwasher and popped one of the dishwasher tabs in before closing it.

  “He’s somethin’ alright,” muttered Floyd. Mama sat down on the floor and tried to coax out my stubborn, two-year-old bulldog.

  “Good luck getting him out of there,” I told her as I finished my strawberry rhubarb pie. Mama looked up at me and shook her head.

  “Ornery and plain spoilt is what he is,” she replied. Floyd and I laughed as she sat there on the rug. My head snapped up as there was a knock at the back door. Floyd was closest and walked over, peeking out from behind the curtain before opening the door;greeting the mystery caller.

  “Now, why does he do that? Doesn’t he know that there could be a cold-blooded murderer on the other side of that door?” she asked me. I looked over
my shoulder and shook my head.

  “Mama, the chances of that are slim and none here in Pretty Boy,” I replied. Mama frowned.

  “You see it all the time on Dateline, Jacoby. One minute you’re settin’ down to dinner with your family and the next you’re lyin’ in a pool of blood at the bottom of your basement steps,” she replied. I chuckled.

  “I know what you’re referring to and I think you might have a few of the details mixed up,” I replied. She frowned deeper and opened her mouth to say something when her frown changed to a charming smile.

  “Well, who do we have here?” she sang as she attempted to get off the floor to no avail. I turned around and felt my body heat as Moe walked into my kitchen. She’d changed into a worn pair of blue jeans and a pink tank top that had the shelter’s logo on it. She gave me a shy smile and put her hand in her pocket; retrieving a phone with a Deadpool phone case.

  “Indy left his phone at the shelter. I called a contact named ‘Bryce’ on it and he gave me your address,” she replied.

  “I’ll bet he did,” I muttered as Floyd laughed.

  “Boys, don’t be rude, introduce me,” said Mama from her spot on the floor.

  “Mama, this is Mobley Knight, but everyone calls her Moe. I work with her and she’s the lucky lady who bought me at the auction,” I told my mother. Moe blushed.

  “Moe, this is my Mama, Pauline Garcia,” I said as Moe gave my mother a sweet smile. Mama hoisted herself up off the floor and plopped into the nearest chair.

  “Nice to meet you, honey. Don’t mind me, I was tryin’ to coax my son’s fat bulldog out from under the table, but he’s sulkin’,” she replied as she pointed underneath the table, where Short Round gave a grumbling snort. Moe sat down and grinned.

  “Nice to meet you, Ma’am,” she told Mama with a smile. She peeked her head under the table and looked at Short Round before righting herself with a smirk.