Joker Page 5

  “Thanks for returning Indy’s phone. He took Moo for a walk,” I told her.

  “Moo?” she asked with a laugh. I nodded.

  “Yep, he says that she looks like a cow. Hence, Moo,” I explained.

  “And you don’t have to thank me for returning the phone, I know how important they can be to a teenage boy,” she said warmly. I prayed my Mama didn’t say anything about my nephew’s predilection for pornography. But Mama looked to her and then back to me and she grinned slowly.

  “Jacoby, why don’t you take her for a walk? The lightnin’ bugs are out and there are probably a million stars in the sky,” she said softly as she nudged my arm. I nodded and got up from the table.

  “Moe, would you care to join me for a walk?” I asked, earning a beaming smile from Moe and Mama. Floyd made an obscene gesture behind the ladies’ backs and I frowned at him.

  “Yes please,” she replied. She took my hand and I led her outside. Looking up at the sky, she smiled.

  “It’s real pretty out here, Jacoby. Your Mama is really nice too,” she said as she walked with me towards the barn. I slid my hands into the pockets of my shorts and snorted. She gave me an odd look.

  “She thought you were a murderer,” I told her. She stopped and looked at me, a curious expression on her face.

  “Mama watched a ton of Dateline, 20/20 and some Netflix series about a guy in Michigan or Minnesota who was framed by the local police…anyways she has an overactive imagination when it comes to pretty much everything. Don’t mind her,” I said with a laugh. Moe nodded and giggled.

  “My sister and I are addicted to stuff like that; horror movies too. So, I get where your mama is coming from. Although my sister gets spooked by weird stuff, like when the lights flicker she thinks it’s demons and gets out the salt,” she said with a laugh. I nodded in agreement.

  “My brothers and I are horror movie buffs as well. But not Friday the 13th. I feel, as an educator, mentally handicapped individuals shouldn’t have access to a machete, nor should their Mamas encourage them to kill people. I’m just sayin’,” I told her with a laugh.

  “As opposed to a child molester with knives for fingers?” she shot back. We came to the huge tree near the barn and I stopped.

  “Touché, Moe. But in his defense, Freddy is the better villain,” I replied. Moe shook her head and sat down. Sitting down next to her, I leaned against the rough, gnarled trunk of the tree.

  “So, our date tomorrow?” she asked nervously. I turned to her and smiled.

  “You don’t have to be nervous around me, Moe,” I said softly. She shrugged.

  “How do you figure? You’re hot, covered in tattoos, very muscular and you probably have that ‘V’ thing that’s gonna make me want to dry hump you like a hound in heat. You’re smart and really, good with kids. What’s not to like?” she asked with a snort. I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked.

  “You wanna dry hump me?” I asked in disbelief. She looked at me and shook her head, rolling her eyes in disbelief.

  “Out of all of that, all you heard was that I wanted to dry hump you?” she asked sarcastically; crossing her arms over her chest. I pulled her to me and positioned her on my lap so that she was straddling me. Moe gasped softly as I cupped her face and looked up at her.

  “No. I was mostly staring at you,” I admitted.

  “Staring at me? Why?” she asked. I smiled and rubbed the softness of her cheek with the pad of my thumb.

  “You’re beautiful. They way you scrunch your nose even when you’re not wearing your glasses. The fact that you aren’t all caked with makeup. The way your hair frames your face. How when you’re concentrating during a meeting, you chew on a pencil or twirl your hair around your finger. Your body and all its curves are amazing, too. Yeah, I watched you and noticed you at school more than a handful of times. Should I go on?” I asked her as she smiled and nuzzled my hand.

  “Sure,” she replied breathily. I chuckled and reached up to kiss her soft lips. This time it was slow, sweet and achingly perfect. Her body lightly pressed against mine and I could feel her heart beating. Moe sighed and pulled back.

  “Should we be doin this? I mean, aren’t we supposed to save all of this for our date?” she asked shyly. I laughed.

  “Are you a virgin?” I asked. Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. She lightly smacked my chest as she laughed softly.

  “Nope. Not a virgin. What in the hell made you ask that?” she asked, feigning offence. I laughed.

  “Everyone gets all caught up in their heads about when they should do certain things. When should we kiss…when should we have sex…when should we say, ‘I love you’. My question is why?” I asked. Moe chewed on her thumbnail thoughtfully and then nodded.

  “I see what you mean. All my friends and even my sister worry about things like that. I mean it’s not like I’m trollin’ the streets looking for a hot piece of ass. But I know if I find someone that makes me feel that zap of attraction, I’m gonna see where it leads me,” she admitted. I nodded in agreement.

  “Is that what this is?” I asked as my head yelled at me to ‘shut the hell up’ while my heart screamed ‘kiss her now’. Moe smiled slowly.

  “I’m hopin’ so, but it’s too early to tell. I feel a zing, if you will, when we touch, and I like kissing you. I guess we’ll just have to see tomorrow night, now won’t we?” she asked coyly, licking her bottom lip. I growled and pounced on her. She squealed and took off running to the house, with me hot on her heels. I cornered her at her Jeep and she giggled as I caged her in against the driver’s side door. Looking up at me, she gave me a hopeful smile as I leaned in.

  “Stay with me tonight?” I asked. Moe shook her head.

  “No,” she said firmly, putting her hands on my chest. Her fingers toyed with the soft cotton of my t-shirt as she looked up at me, resolute.

  “What about all that stuff you said back there about ‘no rules’ and such?” I asked. Moe smirked.

  “Just because I don’t follow society’s rules when it comes to relationships, doesn’t mean I don’t have rules of my own, Jacoby. Do I want you? Yes. Do I want to get naked and wrap myself around you? Hell yes. But I wanna wait. I want to be courted a bit. I deserve that. And so, do you. So, I’ll see you tomorrow night and we’ll go from there,” she replied firmly. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me softly. I nodded and opened the door for her.

  “Let me know you got home safely, okay?” I asked her as she climbed into her Jeep and buckled her seat belt.

  “I definitely will. Good night, Jacoby,” she said softly, with a smile.

  “Good night, Moe,” I replied as she cranked the engine and drove out of the driveway. I watched as she turned onto the road, her tail lights two red circles glowing in the pitch black.

  “I like her,” called Mama from the front porch. I jumped and held a hand to my chest.

  “You scared the shit outta me, Mama! What’re you doin’ skulkin’ around in the dark?” I asked. She chuckled as I walked up the steps to the huge wraparound porch of our farmhouse. Mama was sitting on the porch swing, her bare feet swinging inches above the floor.

  “Makin’ sure you didn’t lure her to the barn and deflower her,” she teased. I shook my head and rubbed at the back of my neck.

  “That wasn’t happenin' tonight, you can rest easy on that,” I told her. She laughed.

  “At least I’m not…what does Floyd call it…oh yeah, a cockblock?” she said easily. I choked out a laugh.

  “Well, I’m guessin’ you heard the conversation…you know, where she shot me down?” I asked. Mama clucked her tongue as if I was speaking nonsense.

  “Smart girl, that one. She knows her worth and she’s not about to let your pretty face and ‘rock hard abs’ deter her from what she wants. I like that. And I looked up her people,” she replied. I groaned as I sat down on the porch swing next to her.

  “You mean you snooped on Facebook like a stalker,” I replied. Mama scoffed.
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  “It’s a social media platform that can also be utilized as a tool for makin’ sure the woman who purchased your son at a charity auction is not a certifiable bunny boiler,” she said in her defense, head held high as she smiled proudly. I found myself rolling my eyes.

  “First of all, you run ‘background checks’ on everyone. You even looked up the nurse who inseminated Mordechai’s surrogate. You’re an unrelenting stalker!” I exclaimed. Mama smiled slowly, almost in an evil manner.

  “I had to know who was insertin’ my son’s sperm into that lovely girl who’s carryin’ my grandbaby,” she said unapologetically. I shook my head.

  “Mama, you don’t have rule and domain over our bodily fluids. We’re grown men. If you wanna coddle someone, how about you do it with Indy?” I yelled in frustration. She chuckled.

  “On second thought, that boy needs a firm hand. He’s been coddled enough,” I spat out. She shushed me promptly.

  “That boy needs both of his daddies in the same place. He misses them, and I don’t blame him. You watch, I’ll end up carin’ for that baby too. Mark my words. Your brother needs to learn that his career isn’t everything, when all is said and done, family should come first. And Jesus,” she reminded me.

  “Well which one is it? Jesus or family?” I teased. Mama frowned.

  “Hush, Jacoby. You need to settle down and find yourself a good woman, maybe have a few babies. But don’t rush anything,” she told me solemnly. I stood up and stretched.

  “That literally made no sense. Don’t rush things but hurry up and settle down. And besides, I tried that once and it didn’t suit,” I told her. Mama raised an elegant eyebrow and pursed her lips.

  “That’s on account of her not suitin’ you. She didn’t deserve you and I’m not sayin’ that because you’re my baby and I’m biased,” she stated. I nodded and looked at her.

  “What about you and Daddy?” I asked. Mama smiled, and a wistful, nostalgic look came over her face; softening her features.

  “I met your Daddy and that was it. My car broke down and he was the tow truck driver. Good Lord, he was a handsome man! Like sex on a stick, that man. But he was also kind. One month later, we were engaged. Three months later I was married and pregnant with Bryce. Your Daddy could make me laugh, you know that? We laughed a lot. We didn’t always didn’t see eye to eye on everything. Still, the day I met him, I just knew he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And I would’ve done it too if he didn’t go off and die on me. Damn heart attack,” she said with a sniff like she was still ticked off at my Daddy for dying on her.

  “My point is, romance don’t have rules, Jacoby. The only time it does is when dimwitted people enforce rules. You wanna get married tomorrow, I’ll welcome Moe with open arms. You want to never, ever get married and just fill your house with babies . . . I’ll babysit for you on your date nights. I just want you to be happy with a warm bed, a heart full of love, a belly full of food and a smile every night before you lay your head on your pillow. If Moe is the woman to do that . . . then so be it,” she proclaimed. I leaned down and gave her a kiss. She smiled up at me and patted my cheek.

  “Good night, Mama, I’m going to bed. Alone,” I told her. She frowned.

  “You’re not going to bed alone, Jacoby,” she replied with a smile. I looked at her for a long minute.

  “Yes, I am. You just heard Moe tell me she wasn’t going to sleep with me tonight,” I explained. Mama smiled.

  “Jesus is going to bed with you. He’s always with you . . . watchin’ you,” she replied.

  “Mama, that is wrong and creepy on so many levels. I’m done,” I replied as she laughed behind me.

  I woke up after a fitful night of sleep. I’d texted Moe for about an hour before going to bed, my aching dick evidence that I’d wished Moe had been in my room watching me, instead of Mama’s version of the creepy Son of God. Like a hungover sloth, I crept into the shower and braced myself against the tile wall as the hot water beat against my skin. I went through the motions of washing my body and my hair, making sure to get all the important parts. My cock twitched at the thought of a soapy, wet Moe in the shower with me; her pale skin beaded with water as her long hair hung wet down her back, resting above her delectable ass. Gripping my throbbing cock in one hand, I thought of pinning her against the wall, her pert little ass in my face as I reached between her legs and parted her pretty, pink folds with my eager fingers; sliding my thumb against her hard clit. I closed my eyes as I stroked myself, visions of Moe’s plump lips wrapped around my cock; swallowing me down inch by inch. With a loud shout, I felt myself getting close to coming and I’d just started my shower fantasy with the woman that I’d never knew I wanted. More images of her straddling my waist, her thick thighs wrapped around me as I drove my cock home again and again, caused that familiar buzzing at the base of my spine. With a shout, I came so hard I saw spots; my thick, white cum swirling down the shower drain. I took a moment to collect myself as I felt the water turn cold as it beat down my back. Reaching in front of me, I turned off the shower and shook droplets of water out of my eyes. Reaching for the towel, I wrapped it around my waist and regarded my reflection in the semi-steamed up mirror.

  “You are so screwed, Garcia,” I told my reflection before I exited the bathroom. Looking over at my gym bag in the corner, I knew it was either sweat this woman out of my system or I was going to end up rubbing my dick raw. I threw on a t-shirt, gym shorts and grabbed my gym gear as I headed downstairs.

  An hour later, I limped to my truck, a pain in my side and lower back from overdoing it in the weight room at the gym. I climbed in my truck and leaned back against the seat as I started the engine and turned up the AC. I looked down at my phone and saw that Moe had texted me.

  Moe: Hey there. Did you sleep okay last night?

  Me: Hold on . . . currently dying in my truck.

  Moe: Oh Lord. What did you do? Did it involve your brother? The one who was making blow job gestures behind my back in the kitchen last night?

  I barked out a laugh as I took a chug from my water bottle.

  Me: Shit, you saw that?

  Moe: I was facing the window . . . I saw his reflection in the glass. He thinks he’s slick

  Me: This is awesome. And to answer your question I was at the gym.

  Moe: Leg day?

  Me: Yeah . . .

  Moe: I can’t get you out of my mind, Jacoby. I don’t think I want to

  Me: Same here.

  Moe: See you tonight

  Me: I’ll be there at five thirty pretty lady

  Showered and shaved, I smoothed some product in my hair and quickly got ready. I looked up as Floyd walked into my room.

  “Dude, I’m half naked here!” I yelped as I made sure the towel around my waist was secured. Floyd sat down on my bed and shook his head.

  “Stop bein’ such a pussy,” he remarked. I flipped him off as I checked my hair in the mirror, which only made him chuckle.

  “What’s up?” I asked. He sighed.

  “Have a good time tonight,” he told me. I raised an eyebrow and stared at him.

  “What?” he asked, his eyes wide.

  “You’re never nice. You never wish me good luck or anything like that. Usually you call me a pussy or a mama’s boy. You’re the one who came up with my nickname! What’s up? Are you dyin’?” I asked. Floyd frowned.

  “She’s a nice girl and she makes you smile. Calliope was a bitch of the highest degree and she nearly destroyed you. I want you to have fun, even if you’re annoying sometimes,” he admitted. I sat down on the bed next to him.

  “Calliope gutted me. She left me and took my fucking heart with her. I never thought I would feel anything for anyone ever again. So yeah, I’m really looking forward to this date,” I admitted to him. He nodded thoughtfully.

  “Who knows? Maybe she’ll be my sister-in-law?” he asked. I snorted.

  “I’m surprised she’s even willing to go out with me after she
saw the blow job gestures you made behind her back last night,” I told him, making his eyes go wide.

  “She saw that shit?” he asked. I nodded and laughed.

  “She saw your reflection in the glass. Good job, genius,” I told him as I stood up and walked to the bathroom to grab my suit; Floyd’s laughter following me.

  I picked Moe up at her house, at five thirty. She came out and I nearly swallowed my tongue. Her black curls were swept off to one side and braided intricately over one shoulder. She was wearing a form- hugging, red halter dress and she had a black and red patterned fringed shawl draped over her shoulders. Minimal makeup and silver hoops completed the outfit. Opening the door for her, I was enveloped in her jasmine scent and I wondered if she smelled that heavenly everywhere. The drive to the Zoo was nice, we made small talk about the shelter and plans for the upcoming week. I was achy all over, something that I attributed to the extra workout I did before getting ready to go on our date. Soon, we were at the Zoo, which looked magical at night. Holding Moe’s hand in mine, we walked up a small flight of stairs into a large room that was dominated by a large stage. There were tables spread throughout, like at a dinner club you would see in old movies. The place was decorated with romance in mind; hearts, glitter and red everywhere. The tables were set with white tablecloths and small, red hurricane candles in the middle of each. Off to the side of the stage was a DJ booth and a small bar, where a young woman was serving drinks. There were also tables set up with finger foods. Soft music played as we looked for our table.

  “It looks pretty in here. Very romantic,” she said softly with a smile. I nodded as I found our table and led her over to it. Holding out her chair for her, she sat down with a smile and then looked around the room. Couples were seated and chatting amicably.

  “What do you want to drink?” I asked her. She worried her bottom lip for a second and then grinned.

  “Vodka cranberry, please?” she asked. Nodding, I went to get our drinks. I had to wait for only a few minutes before it was my turn to order.